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 Power
Exchange
Here is some background on my philosophy and practice of BDSM
(Bondage/Discipline, Sadism/Masochism). Although the term "BDSM"
catches the ear and imagination, a more subtle description is
"Power
Exchange."
Any power I exert over you is actually your own power
entrusted to me. Even though you are voluntarily assuming a role
subservient to my dominance, it is you who has consciously decided to
transfer that control to me and to pay me for managing it responsibly. When you want
the power back, it's yours. Ironically, the exchange
generates power and each of us receives back from ourselves and the other more than was present when we began.
 My
work as a "Master for Hire" evolved naturally out of my massage practice.
Think about it: when you come for a massage, you're entering an unknown
environment and abandoning shoes, clothes, valuables,
modesty, control. You stand and lie naked before me, your masseur,
as I unflinchingly examine and touch every part of you.
I
find your sore spots and manipulate them until you resist, wince, groan
and ask for more. I find your ticklish or protected spots, then
persist until you relax and enjoy delights you otherwise prohibit. I
handle and please the private areas between your legs that you shield
from the rest of the world and reveal only to your physician or intimate
partners. As you relinquish control, I take you from your world of cares
and obligations to places you rarely or ever go, suspending time and
orientation. Then I gently return you to the "real world" a different
being than you were when you arrived.
 Apply
the same premises in a BDSM session, then crank up the intensity, relief
and rewards. You reveal, resist, relinquish, revel and request more. Then
you pay me for the relief brought by this power exchange, return to your world
revitalized, and come back for more at a later date.
Overall, I am more interested in the emotional and mental aspects of
dominance and submission than in mechanical “snarl, shout, spit, slap, strike, slurp,
snivel, simper” BDSM.
My approach to
BDSM is less about pain and more about sensation. Sometimes the two get
confused. The feel of candle wax dripping on you is the sensation of
something hot, unexpected, and liquid turning to a solid. Try it on
yourself and you'll find it's not really torturously painful, but just an
experience that hasn't been part of your sensory library. Once you get the
feel of hot wax, or clothespins, or flogging or almost any BDSM activity,
you'll often be surprised that it's not such a big deal. Learn to welcome
new sensations and learn to increase your tolerance to pain --- but do it
with someone you can trust who won't do to you anything that he hasn't
tried on himself.
From the moment we leave the womb to the moment we leave
the planet, life is dominated by pain and punctuated by pleasure. Learning
not to fear pain --- real or potential --- is essential to our development
and survival.
Learning to conquer or manage emotional, psychological and physical pain
is a measure of maturity. If we obsess or fight it, our pain is worse. If
we redirect our mind and relax, pain subsides.
When
we fear and pain, we become strong instead of immobilized. When you come
to me, do not be afraid. It is not I, it is you who holds control over your fears
and compatibility with pain. "Let go; come on. There, that's not
so bad, is it? See, you can handle it. No big deal. And look --- your dick was hard much of the time. You liked that, didn't
you? Atta' boy. Somethin' you didn't like so much? Well, let's see what
else we can do."
Then, you go --- a smile on your face and a tear in your eye --- with softer
heart and stronger self-awareness.
DOMINANCE, SUBMISSION, FLIPPING
Part of my mastery is that I'm versatile, enjoying both top and bottom roles.
I enjoy
seamless switching, flipping from top to bottom, master to sub and back.
I'm most interested in sex that includes playfulness and
heart. In my BDSM style, laughter is as much a release as a good
spanking or flogging. That's why it's my playroom, not a
dungeon. You're not a captive, you're an eager patron on a ride you
won't find at Disneyland.
Instead of severe pain, I prefer to seek, explore and
expand that mysterious, delicate and delectable pivot between pain and pleasure.
 AS A MASTER
My natural tendency in life is leader, not follower. Most often
I’m the mentor, life coach, confidant, supportive buddy and advisor. I am
an old dog learning and turning new tricks.
I love it when I meet other masters --- men with
confidence, magnetism, pragmatic reasoning and an imaginative libido. With
all others, I tend to maneuver my way with relentless
rational
persuasion, manipulation or conniving.
Still, I’m a realist. “If it don’t fit” with kind persistence and a mallet, I’ll walk away rather than ball-peening
you into submission. (Alternate premise: "If it don't fit, use more lube.")
As your top, I strive to transport you out of your head
into your body and spirit. I try to bring out your inner child and your
inner manimal.
We’ll wander around in those parts of your life you rarely
explore, attempt to go "beyond the beyond", then bring you back safe and
secure. I'm honored to help make your turn-ons and fantasies come to
life, however
uncommon they might be.
I particularly enjoy winning your trust, then adding
individual layers
of restraint and control. Eventually you surrender your
resistance while still retaining ways to object. Aside from
a man's ecstatic moans and whimpers, his sweetest sounds are when he tells
me I have given him
sensations and feelings he never before experienced.
 AS A SUB
I’m submissive but not passive. I love to serve, to be
challenged and pushed. I love new experiences and sensations. I seek those
who can expand my horizons and understandings. I love
to push myself: in the gym, in bed, in a sling, in motion, in my mind,
in the outdoors or anywhere
I’ve not been before.
I'm an unabashed devotee of the male physique, seeking and serving
graceful and muscular men. I am an idolater for
male beauty in any of its shapes, forms, sizes, ages, types, ethnicities and
origins.
As much as I love providing thrills to others, I
enjoy it even more when I’m creatively, skillfully and lovingly tied, wrapped, sucked,
fucked, fisted, flogged, jerked, spanked, slapped, punched, licked,
rubbed, tickled, teased, kissed and relieved.
I crave submitting to a man who can divine that of which
I'm capable, then seduce me and the beasts within me, guide them out and
about, have his way with my will, then give me what I deserve and desire.
 ROLE PLAY
Although I’m a SAG member and I'm great at role-play and fulfilling fantasies
I personally find it most erotic to be fully in the present with my
partner.
I can be your dominating master or father figure, your
older or younger brother, your daddy’s boy, trainer or pup. Those roles
come naturally and really aren't role-playing for me. I'm not a
convincing drill sergeant or pig cop --- but I understand the power those
men hold and can exert that effect over you should you choose. You
bring the wardrobe and I'll fill it.
 I'm not going to
force you to do something you don't want to do. Instead, like a loving
dad, I'll appreciate, respond to and reward your willingness to submit,
your eagerness to serve, your desire to please, and your ability to go
beyond your usual thresholds for our mutual benefit and pleasure.
I'm here to
transform your fantasies into reality, then, to further enhance your
realities. Tell me your nastiest and most twisted wishes. Tell me about
the dreams you've had. Tell me stuff you don't tell anyone else. Tell me
what you jerk-off to. Tell me the photographs or videos or stories or
situations that get you hard and make your dick drool. I'll do my
best to play it out with you step by step.
While I enjoy good role-play (emphasis on the “play” part)
I avoid verbal abuse. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough
name-calling, denigration and humiliation from a lifetime of cultural bias
plus the taunts of enemies, “friends” and family. If you need more of
such abuse, I suggest you spend the hourly fee on a session with a good
psychotherapist or psychologist. Or, join the Marines.
VOCALIZING
Sometimes clients worry that they're making too much noise. My playroom
contains sound quite well and I'll quiet you down if necessary. Sometimes I'll gag you.
But more commonly, men don't make ENOUGH noise. I may encourage you to open up
with sounds and words that express what you're feeling inside --- noises
you can't make anywhere else.
A skillful top reads his sub to determine when more or less
is needed. But a skillful sub or bottom needs to express his needs,
desires and fears if they’re to be met and respected. My most difficult
massage clients are those who say nothing and show nothing. Many times
these are men who've had years of sex with their wife while
the kids sleep in the next room. Others are those who come from
non-expressive families where emotion or physical signs of
affection were uncommon or absent.
I
also revel in extended times of only non-verbal communication. Again, eyes
can be the windows. But if you’re too quiet, I’ll urge you to
come out of yourself and express. Being vocal can also include barely-audible moaning and
groaning, whimpering, growling and tangled profanity. In any case, I want
it to be real, not just repetition of something you heard in a video. If
all you yammer is "Fuck, Yeah" I'm liable to shut your trap for you
and tape it closed.
Likewise, don't expect me to perform a stage show
with non-stop patter, reassurance or rhetorical questions like a carny
barker or talk-show host. I quickly tire of doms and porno actors constantly nagging
“Like
that? Huh?” or “Want more? Yea? Huh?” This kind of boring
banter may simply reflect an insecure or uncreative top.
Don't expect me to
scream at you like a drill instructor. I'm much more likely to growl or
whisper quietly in your ear with quiet instructions, admonitions or
reassurance.
We'll agree
what to call each other although I'm partial to using our real names. It
shows we're actually in the same space with each other instead of my being
a figure from the past or some fictional reality. The more you require me
to call you something specific, the less likely I am to do so.
You'll never go wrong calling me "Sir."
I'll call you
whatever comes to my mind at the time. We can easily
use "son" or "boy" --- 'til you need to be made to grow up and
take it like a man. Then, I'll figure out something appropriate and
specific to you. I often prefer custom nicknames that fit the
individual and the occasion. "Slave" is not a name I prefer for my
subs.
Above all, learn
to say "Please" and "Thank You." And more important, learn to say
these terms with meaning, emotion and respect.
NEGOTIATION
Because power exchange requires trust and
rapport, it’s essential for us to have an open discussion prior to
starting a session.
Disclose your phobias, history of injuries, diabetes,
heart or other health conditions and medications you’re taking. Tell me if
you’ve been drinking or if you’ve taken any pharmaceuticals or party
drugs.
Then, spell out your fantasies, fears and
limits. If your scene is based on a true-life experience, tell me about it
briefly. Also let me know about any unpleasant
experiences you’ve had in past bondage scenes. I’ll do my best to work
within your boundaries limits while fulfilling your desires. Ask questions
and get clarification.
Bottom line: we talk, we agree, we do. Although I’m in the
dominant role for the scene, remember that you hold the real power. Even
though you may be playing the sub, you’re paying me as your master to
provide you with a fulfilling multi-sensory experience. I’m obligated to perform and
please you as best as I can.
I’m honored when I earn your
trust,
relaxation and willingness to go with the scene. And I’m even more honored
when I bring you the experience you desire.
What I do is based on how you react and
respond. I’ll check in throughout the session; if you want to redirect the
energy, tell me. Be proactive. If necessary, request permission to speak.
Tell me if you’re uncomfortable or if you want to try something
different. Just say “This isn’t working for me” or “I’m worried or afraid
that….” It’s a waste of our time and your money if you wait until the
session is over and then complain or whine. Don’t go away resentful that
you didn’t get what you wanted because you didn’t ask for it. And, it’s
not fair afterward to ask for a fee-waiver or your money back if you
haven’t voiced your objections or requests during the session.
LIMITS
 Make it clear to me what you do NOT want
to happen. If you don't want insertion, tell me. If you don't want
any marks your partner will see that night, tell me. If you don't
want to be blindfolded or you're claustrophobic, tell me. Also, just
say "not now" if there's an activity (such as being inescapably bound or
caged) you don't want to explore until you know me better and feel more
comfortable with me.
Finally, you know your body better than I do. Tell me if
you want to cum and how. Tell me how you like your tits or dick or balls
played with. Often, instead of providing you with a "happy ending,"
I'll encourage you to "take matters in your own hands" since you can
reliably bring yourself pleasure. Or, if you prefer, I'll take over
in any way that I can.
SAFE WORDS
I always respect your limits, even when I’m pushing them.
By definition, these sessions take you to your limits and
then stretch you just a bit further. In BDSM scenes, “No” doesn’t always mean
“No”
and “Stop” doesn’t always mean “Stop.”
As a result, with me or with any other dom, when you're
working at
very intense levels, agree in advance on a “safe word” to be used only when you
want an activity to cease immediately. The word “Red” is a common
safe word because it rarely comes up in conversation and it carries the
usual traffic signal meaning of “Stop”.
Designate another signal or sign that serves the same
purpose as a safe word if you’re gagged and unable to articulate words,
I’ve yet to have a client use their safe word to stop me. I
believe this is because I’m skilled at reading you and knowing
when to let up or halt. Such signals include noises, respiration,
heart rate, eyes, perspiration, body language and overall tension level.
I stop if I sense
you’re physically faltering, scared or fading. I check in often for
feedback from you. If I sense that you’re bored, I'll work with you to
figure what you need. A good rhythm is essential: building, pulling back
and building higher unpredictably, again and again.
When we’re in synch,
time becomes suspended and we’re both transported to another physical and
mental place. The endorphins begin to flow.
I savor the moment when we both “come to” and say “WOW! That was
AMAZING.”
 PRECAUTIONS
Again, no drugs or booze before you
arrive. And, advise me if you’re bringing anything illegal into my home.
Once you’re here, we’ll put your
valuables in a sealed envelope where they’ll be safe and easy for you to
access. This is your way of knowing I'm not tampering with your private
items. And it's my way of protecting myself from accusations of
theft. I also know you’ve
brought your money, even though I don’t accept it until our time is
ended. Unless you’re paying by credit card when you arrive, leave your
charge cards at home or hidden in your car; same with your jewelry
or watch.
Before you come to me for a heavy bondage
scene with me or any other person, set up a “Silent Alarm” to protect yourself. Here's how: leave a note in your
car or a message on your own (or a friend's) cell phone giving your return time and my
contact information. That way, your whereabouts can be traced if you don’t
make it home. And I have extra incentive to treat you safely and with
utmost respect.
For your security and
my protection, I do not leave my residence unit while you are bound or
restrained.
If you have any questions about the
safety of any activities, including whether or not they may transmit any
sexually transmitted disease, ask BEFORE rather than after.
Many clients are concerned about
previously used items such as gags. Although I thoroughly sanitize all
items used in a session, I respect your concerns. So, I encourage
you to bring your own or stop and purchase the item at a local store such
as The Pleasure Chest, Mr. S. Leathers, 665 or Rough Trade. (Addresses
available upon request.) We can talk further about ways to reduce,
minimize or eliminate various risk factors before your session.
 EQUIPMENT & ACCESSORIES
My
massage studio serves as my play room. If you want a more fully-equipped
traditional dungeon, we can rent one for your session at your additional
expense. To date, my facility has always filled the bill. It's clean,
comfortable, private and quiet. There are multiple selections of
Sirius and XM satellite radio. Variable lighting helps set the mood. I do
not prefer a dark space. A set of three-way mirrors help us
enjoy the visuals of our interaction.
A leather sling
and a vinyl sling are available along with a St. Andrew's cross and
suspension harness. An inversion bed is great for hanging you upside down.
A glory-hole door is available for those who've never experienced
that sensation. You may enjoy laying face down as I work on you from
beneath a custom "Tit Table" with holes cut out for your face, tits and
cock and balls.
An articulating
leather recliner serves us well, as do hanging straps and a "semi-sling". You might also enjoy being stretched out and tied,
face up or down, on the bondage board as it swings from chains mounted to
the ceiling. A full range of floggers and paddles is available.
 Go
back to basics for a simple hot-wax session. A "FleshLight" is just one of
the many cock pleasing and teasing assets you'll find here, along with a
full range of vacuum pumps for your dick, balls, butt or tits. And
if you've never tried electro, your balls, asshole or tits are in
for a treat.
There's a wide
variety of leather gear for me to wear and much to put on you. I'm always happy to go
with you to one of the local shops and help you purchase
for us new gear that will enhance your fantasies.
Of course, the
basics are easily available and well-organized for quick access:
blindfolds, masks, gags, tit clamps and clips, ball weights,
collars, cuffs, ropes, chains, ball stretchers, leg stretchers, tickling
devices.
 Vibrators are available as is a huge selection of dildos
and butt plugs in a wide variety of sizes and types.
“Fusion Silicone” is my favorite lube for hand jobs and fucking.
For lengthy ass play I prefer J-Lube and Elbow Grease. (However, your preference
is respected so bring your choice of lubes if you'd like.) The best lube of all
is the thick saliva that is dredged up from having a thick, long dick
sliding in and out of a throat.
Porn can be played while you're here
but I find that is more a distraction than an asset. After all, we're here
to create in reality what you fantasize about when watching porn at home. We also can create
confidential and anonymous digital photos or videos during the session and
you can get a copy before you depart for an additional fee.
SAMPLE
REQUESTS
If you're new to
BDSM and don't know what you might like or dislike, tell me that and I'll
take the lead. On the other hand, if you DO know what you like or want to explore, tell me.
These few edited e-mails from past
clients give you an idea of how a successful scene can be built if you're
specific with your requests.
"...put a blindfold
in an envelope on your front door. When I arrive, I’ll put it on before
I enter. Keep me blindfolded throughout most of the session, only
revealing yourself to me about 15 minutes before it’s time to end."
"... make me wear one of your used
jockstraps. Then, put me in a leather collar and tie me onto a
chair or table. Pull a hood over my head so I can't see the
variety of butt plugs you'll be using in my ass."
"... start with a
massage session, then increase your work on my nips. Put me in your
sling or on a fuck bench and work me over as you wish."
"... I've been
interested in leather and light S&M for a long time, but I have not
tried it yet. Will you be the one to teach me what I need to know? No
humiliation, marks or severe pain. Teach me to take it like a man. Daddy/Son or Coach/Jock
relation type. SAFE only, no drugs."
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